Dragons, this could not possibly have backfired more completely. All of those things were meant to be minor impossibilties, and yet --
Kilian trickery taken to another level. I need information back on the spy in the encampment near this mysterious artifact. I need -- an explanation!
[Filter: Father Eron]
I did not bow by choice. I did not. How are we possibly going to --
[Filter: Prudence and Patience]
... Well! It certainly sounds as though you made quite an impression. Did you really call a storm from Kiernan to Lucre? If so, you've learned quite a bit since last we saw each other ...~
Sister Freya will have a difficult time explaining that away, I suspect. It's ... rather satisfying to see one of her ploys backfire, to be honest.
... did a storm actually just -- clear the sky above Keirnan? Is that ...
Because, Dragons, I -- haha, Dragons, right? Dragons! Dragons, I think it's here.
Well, Keirnan is certainly calmer than it was not ten minutes ago.
Dragons, when we caught sight of the gates the rain was pounding. We're all still soaking wet, in fact, and we're likely to be until the lot of us reach the castle and change into something more presentable. Everything all over the city is mud.
And now it's ... as calm as a summer's day. As calm as an Aeda summer's day. The water is still, the sky is -- clear, there's not a single cloud anywhere. The wind must have blown them away, but Dragons almighty.
Lady Eriena, we're on our way through the gates now. I imagine we'll be there sooner than we thought now that we're not trudging through the rain.
Oh, look!!! It's my day off and everyone is running away from me like I'm storming up to them holding a firebrand and doing whip tricks! Well, no, because that would require they actually saw me to know I was doing any of that.
This sure is getting common, isn't it?? I guess I'll spend all day working on work for work tomorrow. Work work work work work.
It's almost too bright out here now. "Spring" is certainly on its way. I would prefer to be in the north for the Days of Radiance, but I suppose these things can't be helped.
I will say that Lady Crionna's form is nothing if not majestic. I wish she were truly a Dragon of Darkness. I wish this could actually be real. I expect that many of the easier demands will be met, and the Council will continue to drags its feet. That we will continue this farce for however long it takes for these ... things to figure out that despite their obviously superior appearance, the leadership of Megam is not easy to sway. That --
It appears that Lady Crionna has assumed the appearance of a woman ... She's not what I pictured, but ... Ah, she's beginning an address.
This is ...
[Filter: Private, in Azsharan]
Remember the rules, Naelene. You can't discuss what you read exactly in the restricted areas out of school. You can't! But you can comment on it so long as you don't directly quote it! Or start a war.
After taking some notes about what's in there, these are what I want to start with:
Minutes Transcripts - 5 AR <- Not the originals, but not translations either! These are the real deal! There are a lot of other early minutes that have been commented on, but these ones have been sealed so long by both Atsir and Anshar that only councillors know what went on that year. If they even bother trying to find these nearly hidden things! (I think this is the year that the Lord Greyson incident happened, which is why I am singling it out)
Turning the Tribes <- A commentary so inciteful into how the nomads were brought into line with Atsiria that it was directly pulled from its author's hands and used in a council meeting to justify the selection of a nomadic council seat in 21 AR! Never copied outside of official Archive business, and locked in the restricted sections only! Gah!
Treaty Copies: -4-26 AR <- 2114 entries! About half of them are going to be from Atsiria, but there's going to be a lot of sheets from around the world! Dyfeint and Kilia refused contact, but we tried to get everyone else in the world to recognize that we had a border, and we were going to defend it. I expect entries from every pre-Dentorian house, the northern iron tribes, the tree dwellers, and so on.
I've spent days looking under every rock I could find for the older volumes, and I don't even think I've scratched the surface. These are a good enough start.
[Filter: Raezi Eshene, in Atsirian]
I was told that if I wanted to go back into the Archives for anything today I should filter to you? I was almost ready to start diving into it for real, but I needed some extra paper for notes, and I think Karlesta Eshene has gotten off to other things. I can't wait for tomorrow, I want to get a head start on all the things I want to figure out!
... listen, uh ... do you maybe ... want to talk a bit? If you don't have time that's fine. Or if you just don't want to, and were going to say you don't have time, that's ... fine, too, heh. Or ... you know. Whatever? I don't want to ...
[Filter: Lord Suaimeas, Lady Crionna, and Raetha]
Oh my gosh I'm so nervous that I think there are a million butterflies in my belly! I know our plan is good, and I trust you all, I really do!! But there are just so many things that could go wrong! What if they spot you in the air, Suaimeas? What if they recognize that your accent is kind of Kilian, Crionna? Or what if I mess up? I know I'm only announcing you and doing all my usual standing around looking grand, but what if I forget to look shocked when you turn?
... how big are these wings you say you have? Maybe those will shock me for real, and then I can't forget ...
... Two weeks.
Two weeks, and I will sail out of here with an airtight excuse, free to lose myself as completely as I can in whatever way I see fit. I've dreamed of this day for years, and yet ...
I honestly think I've done the best I can. I've tried to be ... the best person I can be, under the circumstances. So why then do I feel that the things I said, the things I had to say, the things I must do now for my own sanity ... monster. That was monstrous of me, and she will never, ever forgive it.
But I'll do it anyway.
Back to Megam. Maybe there was a choice, before -- running away with Forbes to Northern Dentoria. But knowing now what I do, how could I ever choose that?
Lady Westa is right. Either I am drawn to trouble, or it is drawn to me, and I'm not sure which is worse.
Melyndra has agreed that our proposal is sound and given us leave to depart in two weeks' time.
[Filter: Finnabhair, in Kilian]
First -- you asked before how my project is progressing. I would rather not speak on it in public any longer. As it turns out, my memories were more reliable than I could have hoped. I expected this attempt to be a disaster. Fitful. Incomplete. An utterly bemused test subject. That's not the case.
You will have to help me watch her, Finn, she is particularly susceptible to flights of fancy -- which is what I wanted, I need a creative mind. Absolutely necessary. But dangerous. Already she is requesting to stay after hours near every day, offered to come in on weekends, I can see the tendrils of it burying themselves in her. -- Again, necessary.
This is only phase one. With this, how promising it's been, I think I could begin to rebuild the library. Not this paltry stuff I peddle now, tricks and glamours, but the actual library ... it would take decades.
I'm drifting from the subject. All this to say that it is progressing well. Her descriptions of her experiences are near perfect, assuming she is not exaggerating them, which she very well may be. Another drawback of requiring an overactive imagination. Some refinements over the course of the next weeks are in order, but that's only dressing. Embellishment.
When I am satisfied with the final product -- for phase one -- you are more than welcome to see the results for yourself. It's only fair, seeing as so much of your fortune has already been buried in this work on my behalf.
Now, about this other matter.
This manuscript you've given me is a pile of lifeless dross. I haven't the desire nor ability to animate such a rote, mechanical retelling of what I can only surmise is a true story. Have I mentioned I detest nonfiction?
What is the worst situation? One of you has slipped up, but I can't tell which one. It's annoying. It pulls at me when I'm supposed to be doing important work. I read your sentences over and over again watching for your slip even though I know I have no time to hunt right now.
Itch, itch, itch. What a fun game we play.
Are you bringing back mangoes? I think I could use the sugar. I've been trying to meditate all day, but I keep dropping off asleep! That's so embarrassing. It's just how quiet it is here. If you think about it, it's ... strange, isn't it? We've so far from civilization ... just the sound of the ocean and that's all the world ...
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]
Argh! Ugh! By the Holy Mothers, this is ... too much! Constantly, something new, something else! And now this? Now, he wants to --
He'll leave and I'll be without him, and it'll be just like --
Damn, and I need to talk to the girl in the Archives again, too. I need to -- so much! It never ends!
Why does the idea have to be so clever?!
[Filter: Adrian, in Atsirian]
I've thought very hard about what you and Enoch proposed last night, Adrian.
The Prince's birthday celebration was wonderful. The whole palace was decorated for the occasion, and it was beautiful. The only bad part is that there were so many people there that it was hard to even move through the ballroom.
I did finally get to meet the Prince though, briefly! KIefer introduced me to him, and I was able to wish him a happy birthday, and my condolences, of course. He is so much more handsome in person than I thought he would be, but, ah haha, I was so certain he would be taller. He's still tall, and much taller than I am, but I always pictured him closer to Glenn's height.
It really was a lovely party despite the crowd, but I wish it could have been a more happy occasion. Some of the other courtiers told me it was better than court has been in a long time, but since it was his first birthday since the princess... ah, it must have been so difficult for Prince Ian. It must be so hard sharing a birthday and having it tied to such unpleasant memories. I hope he was able to enjoy himself at least some. You shouldn't have to be sad on your birthday.
amalea, how do you write magic storybooks?
[Filter: Private, in Kilian]
How odd, to write the entire thing as though it's some sort of story.
It's no grand romance, I'll give it that. It's very ... well, simple. It's very simple and very small, in the grand scheme of things. There were no violins playing for us and there were no declarations of eternal longing ... it was a very plain situation, wasn't it? The two of us.
It's so odd to write myself as a character. To treat myself as a separate person, with her own story to tell ... it's very difficult. I suppose Aoife will know at once what my aim is, but ... but I don't care anymore, do I? Aoife needs my sponsorship, and I need her talents. It's that simple.
[Filter: Public, in Kilian]
How is that work of yours going, Aoife?
I should have something extra for you, if you will have the time. I know you're quite busy, so you can take your time with this -- it's not pressing, not yet. But I'll bring it by the shop tomorrow, if you won't be busy.
I feel like I'm twelve again, learning the vastness of the world at my lessons. Only this time, the vastness is all about my homeland, and it's all ... it's all very strange to think that I lived there and had no idea about any of this.
It's something ...
I think we've refined our public perception very well for this plan. Now people have started coming to us with their concerns because they knew we're looking for the answers. Since we're both reasonably intelligent, it will appear very natural.
I think I've come up with a good idea for my breakaway as well: The both of us will be needed, but you want to be the one to approach Lucre itself because no one knows you there. My cover story included the fact about me being from Lucre and falling out. So my part of the plan will be to go into the Dentorian ports and start breaking the rumour mills there. If we can beat it on the coasts it will have less of a chance to reach Razen after all...
I was hoping that having the worst fixed in my mind was going to make approaching it that much easier. A little like how I decided in Hanalan to approach Korin like a gaping maw that would consume all of us, but myself and Celeste the worst. That turned out to be ... more complicated than I would've hoped. I can't afford to be the stalwart General here either, simply marching under orders to lead everyone into the worst. We were never an army to begin with, and we'll be even less of one once the borders cut our numbers to a handful. Neither am I actually the leader here, and it's not my job to be the stoic face urging everyone ever onward.
I sort of wish my pessimism had been challenged. Any sort of hope would be ... better than this, I suppose. I should've tried to comfort everyone, including myself, with the proposal that not all mysteries are necessarily bad.
That just seems ... insincere in a way, though. Hn.
How are you feeling, Celeste? It's been a few days since ... and, well, you weren't very confident going into it.
... well, I think it's sort of fun, don't you? Just us, all alone on this island? It feels like an adventure! ... I've never had an adventure before, you know. Nicolette or Tavian has always been standing over me, making sure I'm safe. I used to daydream that I'd wander out of the Adveni quarter and fall in love with a handsome Megami man and we'd carry on and it would all be so illicit and exciting and ...
That's embarrassing to admit, isn't it? I guess sometimes I just feel like everyone treats me like I'm made of salt and I'll just dissolve when the rain comes. But I'm not. I'm stronger than they think.
Um ... I thought maybe I could try and figure out what it means -- the drawing I did in the sand. The dead don't seem to be calling me back out, so I think they want me to decipher this on my own ...
It ... feels almost strange, being on the road again, doesn't it? On the road with purpose, for that matter, not just wandering about. I know we've travelled a lot over the past year, but it's all been so ...
None of it has been like this.
And ... and none of it ends with us all being parted.
Oh, everyone, last night was ... it was wonderful. It was wonderful. I'm so glad that we could end our time with something so amazing! And now here we are, and --
-- and ... oh!
IT'S MY HAT!
So. There are plenty of people here in Eblar, how about you share the scuttlebutt about how the mood is, there.
... for what it's worth, you know, I think you may actually have a shot.
[Filter: Raetha, Ally, Suaimeas, Elliot, Adveni, and Runecrew]
Well, Sister Freya gave us a list of what we can do to prove ourselves.
Most of it is impossible, and she knows it is. Elliot says she knows we're fakes and she's always known about it, and in that case ... know what a person is praying for? Pick out an adulterer from five men? There's not any way anyone but their Dragons could do that, and she knows it. Bring in the tides an hour early ... heal a man of his tumors ...
But there's something we probably could do.
Suaimeas, we need you to come back, and bring your stone with you. She listed that we needed to make lightning strike, and ... well. We can certainly do that.
We have a week. We convinced her to give us a week to gather an official meeting, so there wouldn't be any more ... um, confusion. So you have time. I know that leaving Ivy and Daphne there isn't ... isn't the best thing that could happen, but I don't know what else we can do.
She, um, also said that it might help if we took human form. To speak to them on their level ...
Um, and, uh. I'm filtering to Father Elliot, too. He's ... He's a friend. He helped Suaimeas and I when we were still young, and he's known about us for a long time. He's been helping both of us know what we need to do, and warning us about Sister Freya. I promise you can trust him.
Well, just look at all these lovely people~ And I thought those Atsirian balls would be the height of our exploits into the world of fashion~ How very wrong I was~ ♥
Of course, the guest of honor and her poor, blushing husband should have the first dance!
Sigh, I wish that we could spend every day like this~ It reminds me of home, if home were better mannered and had very specific taste in hats~ ♥
What sort of Dragons put limitations on the sorts of miracles they can perform?
Yet ... if these are the same as the Dragons I saw ...
What else could they be? What else. What else could they possibly be?!
I wish ...
Megam isn't so far. Just to see, to confirm for myself. They couldn't possibly pick me out of a crowd, but even if they could ... to ask. I would give anything to ask the question on all of our minds. What is this war. Why are you -- ignoring it, us. Why did you rescue those women -- the obvious answer is that they were innocent, but even so -- two women in all the world? Two inconsequential women in the great scheme of things, you interfere for them -- why? En route to reveal yourselves to all Megam? Was it simply a matter of convenience, there at the right place, right time?
Why were you in Northern Dentoria at all.
They certainly didn't manifest in Megam, and that's odd enough.
Did you spare me on purpose, when you slaughtered so many of my men? Is it because of what I am? Do you know? Do you care?
... So many questions.
And Eriena can't possibly know any of it. ... Lord Dillon will be here soon enough, and I can't possibly leave now. She would never forgive me, if I abandoned her now.
Sister Alison. Dame Raetha. Our heralds to the Lord and Lady, I come to you bearing word of the Council! You may recall that I intended to raise some questions with them. I want them to believe, you see. Believe as they should. And they have brought forward a list of potential feats that would bring belief to all the hearts of Megam without a doubt.
I do recall that you made it clear that They are not capable of miracles while there are only two of them, and surely Lady Prudence cannot do much on her own, but I think most of these are reasonable. Would you consent to us bringing them to you in the great courtyard?
Perhaps we can finally move this deadlock forward.
[Filter: Franelcrew Guys]
This store, man. This store.
Hey look, I know this stuff isn't the usual for a whole lot of you, but I think I've got this. If you've got any doubts about anything, just, you know, ask. Like, I don't think you can actually go wrong in this whole friggin store if you just stick with two colors, because damn. This stuff is all the best. Guess I can point out some glaring errors too if I see any. But yeah.
Isn't this place the best?
[Filter: Franelcrew Girls]
Oh my gosh! Look at all of this stuff! I --
I really don't know what I was expecting ... I mean, we've done some really fancy stuff in the last nine years, haven't we? So I guess in a weird little way I'm almost used to it? But ... look at this place! How cant there be so many different hats? And --
Oh my -- geez! And how can a hat cost over five thousand gold?!
Eek! Crap! Now I'm scared to touch anything!
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]
Maybe these last days have calmed some suspicions. It was a good idea, reaching out. The Prince is still a clever politicker who knows how to try and control a situation. If only he'd thought of this months ago ... but I could have, too.
There's so much I should have been doing.
I have to face the truth. I'll never have the time to do all the things I need to. I never want to delegate. The Prophet surely can handle all of her own business. But some times have slipped between the cracks for far too long ...
[Filter: Naelene, in Atsirian]
Miss Naelene. Good evening.
I understand that you've been researching House Franel.
Well. I need everything you have.
27 February 2014 @ 12:43 am
I feel as though I've stuck myself in conundrum.
It was clear to me that the moment the two of them took a liking to me that they weren't truly the Dragons. They would know exactly what I am about the moment I enter their presence. They should know the kind of man I am without me saying a word. I can put on a caring face, and that is good enough for them? The mask that I use to fool people into believing that I am truly a Dragonsfearing man?
It's not simply that these are not the Dragons because the Dragons are not real. These are not the Dragons because they cannot look right through me and see my fraud. I've served in their name for years, I've helped so many in their name for years, and I haven't truly believed in Them at all in all that time.
I've ceased all my questioning though. How can I question them without revealing the only real reason I can disprove them?
Worse still, what if they are the Dragons, and They do see through me? What if they still think I'm good enough despite only using them as an excuse to help people?
26 February 2014 @ 08:26 pm
[Filter: The Servants of the Goddesses, in Atsirian]
Melyndra Destra, Karlesta Faedya, Raezi Saedri. Adrian Reliz.
I come to you seeking your aid on behalf of the crown.
I'm certain that you have heard of Edalene's unfortunate accident, if you were not there to see it yourselves. The city is abuzz with it, and hasn't been able to stop talking about what this means for the Ansharan dynasty. As I'm certain you can understand, I need to ensure my sister's rule remains ... fairly smooth. The people need to see that this display has changed nothing, that their Queen still has what's best for them foremost in her mind and she remains able to rule as much as she ever has been.
The people of Razen trust no voice more than the Prophet's, even with the ... unsavory things that have been happening of late. They believe the church holds the truest guidance for how they ought to live their lives, and the Prophet speaking on behalf of the Queen would certainly put many of their minds at ease.
I realize this is much to ask, but I also come to you offering my aid in return.
Destra, you and I find ourselves both at the center of a war that I have reason to believe neither of us has a place in. Certainly, I can tell you that I've no stakes in the conflicts of these Messengers and Pillars, except to make sure that they cease disruption of Edalene's rule -- quite a tall order, ever since Karia came to our city. And you stand in the same place I do. I heard about the assassination attempt. Messy business.
And you have managed to deter most eyes from Raezi Saedri's dilemma -- once again, rest assured, said dilemma means nothing to me, as long as she means the city no harm. But there are some in Razen who have not forgotten her illness, and are watching her still. I have reason to believe that some of those individuals are in the court itself, and I can promise you that the instant I root them out, you will hear about it.
I can offer you my resources, my protection, and whatever else you may require. The sooner this mayhem ends, the better it is for all of us, and I believe together we can manage it sooner than we could otherwise.
26 February 2014 @ 08:05 pm
You know, you don't have to do this now, no matter what Keagan and Nessa say. This isn't their choice, it's yours. And if you're just going ahead with it because you don't want to stand up to them and say no, I'll do it, if you'd rather ...
26 February 2014 @ 07:41 pm
I can't believe I'm going to Eblar to see the court! The last time I had to pack like this it was to go to Emeron, before the war and everything that happened. This time it might be the last time I even come home, but if that's true it means I'll be a princess! I never even dreamed something like this could ever happen to me. I always thought I'd be swept off my feet by my very own handsome prince, but it might be the prince! A real prince! I'm so nervous. What if he doesn't like me? What if I make a fool of myself at court. This is all happening so fast.
I'm going to miss you so very much. We've been the best of friends for so long now, and it just isn't going to be the same without you there with me. Now you and Nerida are going to become so close, I just know it! I'll write to you all the time though, I promise, and if there's ever anything you want to talk about I'll have my journal with me all the time and I'll stop whatever I'm doing to write back to you.
26 February 2014 @ 09:46 pm
... where am I?
26 February 2014 @ 09:41 pm
[filter: private, in Kilian]
everything's supposed to be good. ethniu's birthday is so close. I'm supposed to be excited about everything, but ...
[filter: marias, in Kilian]
it's happening again. I keep having bad dreams about the tower ... I want them to stop. do they ever stop?
25 February 2014 @ 09:38 pm
[Filter: Runecrew, Adveni, the Dragons, Raetha, and Ally]
Daphne is in her trance now. She's speaking with them ...
I thought we were going to lose her, when we got here. She almost fell off of Suaimeas, the trance came on her so suddenly. I had to catch her. They dragged her under so quickly, I hope -- I hope that whatever they have to tell her, we aren't too late.
She ... she was saying just now that she couldn't understand them, but now she's asked them to show her something. I don't know what. Obviously I don't know what, but --
[there is a sharp line in the page]
She's not -- she's not breathing! Tavi, she;s not breathing, what do -- what do we do? Should I -- should I take her back to shore, hurry, please be reading -- Will it hurt her if we break the connection? You know so much more, I --
I have to bring her back!
25 February 2014 @ 11:36 pm
[Filter: Nessa and Celeste]
With this sudden loss in available time .... perhaps now would be the best for exploring more of Celeste's magic? It's been some time now, and I have a feeling that the better that is progressing before we arrive in Kilia ...
Well, it might make quite a bit of difference.
It's better to try it now than when we're on the road as well. We have resources and a stable environment here for the most part.
25 February 2014 @ 11:13 pm
... right. I know I haven't written or seen you or anything since -- since that little outburst, and I just want to ...
It's not the way it sounded, okay? I'm not some stupid lovelorn little girl pining after a Prince, and I'm also not a catty bitch hating my best friend because a boy that I like likes her. And nobody can know about any of this. I shouldn't have -- well, it doesn't matter, I did.
And what happened between you and I, I guess it can't ever -- well, of course it can't. You're gross but you're not that gross. Or maybe you're too gross to bang a woman who's thinking of someone else. So ... that's fine, and if you want to sleep with Hot Edea, I guess that's fine, too. It's not exactly fair of me to --
Maybe it was a good thing that all happened. At least ...
Did you find anything salacious at my mother's charity ball? No, you can't tell me that. Are you -- ugh. You can't tell me that, either. Wow. It sure was nice when I knew people who could tell me anything!
25 February 2014 @ 08:32 pm
For being the one obsessed with being an adult!!! and how we can't talk to each other now we're ADULTS!!!, you sure are acting like a five year old throwing a tantrum by holding his breath until he turns blue.
I'M STILL HERE
25 February 2014 @ 07:25 pm
Are you going to let me read more of that book today? I told my parents I might be working late again and that they shouldn't wait up for me. I can definitely stay if you want me to. I hope you want me to! That book was amazing. I can't get over how real everything was.
Please say you'll let me read more!
25 February 2014 @ 09:27 pm
Rowan is beginning to look a bit bare, isn't it! Lord Hasten is gathering his family together to head up to the Coldlands today, I heard~ And Lady Martha is being escorted to Eblar by Lord Glenn later in the week. Dreams of being a Princess, or so I hear -- and good for her! A sweet little thing like that ... I think she'd do well, if the court doesn't eat her up first, sigh. And Lord Glenn has business in Eblar, himself, soon enough. No dates yet, of course, but ... it's coming.
There aren't going to be very many people left here, soon enough! Lady Nerida and her children and Lady Canti ... and that'll be just about that!
I think the time has come, everyone. April 20th is the big day, and it's bearing down on us rather quickly, now. We need to be inside of Kilia's borders before it happens, I would say, and it's not so far away, now.
We need to make our plans. Let's talk, dears. We don't all need to split ways this afternoon, haa, but ...
25 February 2014 @ 07:15 pm
[Filter: Korvin, Irving, and Sawyer]
I owe all of you an apology.
I don't know what I thought I was going to accomplish, with what I did. It was stupid and it was petty and it was ... ridiculous. Honestly ridiculous. I just built up this entire drama in my own mind, and I forgot that there were other people that weren't me who would be hurt as a result of my shortsighted ... absurdity.
I guess I know what I thought was happening. We all know that. And I'm sorry that what I thought was happening had to be so -- I should have talked to Sawyer. I should have trusted him to tell the truth instead of getting it all built up in my mind like that. And at least, I could have talked to you alone, Korvin ... but obviously I took the worst option there. And now, well, everything's such a mess ...
I know that I can't take what I did back, but the least I could do for all three of you is apologize. It won't make anything right, and I know it, but ...
I am sorry.
25 February 2014 @ 09:14 pm
[Filter: Dragons, Adveni, Runecrew, Raetha, and Ally]
I feel it. I feel them. We've only just landed, and already ... it's like a thousand hands all pulling at me, tugging me out to the crater ... all our honoured dead calling my name at once ...
I've never felt it like this ...
23 February 2014 @ 11:32 pm
I ... this is all my fault, I ... I'm sorry, Sawyer. I just assumed -- you'd been spending so much time together, and -- and Kail was so upset on Rose Day, I ... I thought he'd feel better if he thought you were happy! I ... severely underestimated just how much of a -- selfish, spoiled little baby he is, I suppose!
... but it's still -- I shouldn't have -- it wasn't any of my business, and look at what a mess this is!
23 February 2014 @ 09:29 pm
The easy thing to do would be to write the Princess of Hanalan out completely. If I don't do that, then I could excuse her leaving with being too saddened by Seraphine's death, too, but that might be too kind. I mean, I saw how she talked to Lord Hasten. But I can't just make her the villain, this isn't that kind of play!
I don't know!
Why did this get so complicated!
I bet you actually thought you'd managed to get me to stop writing. Surprise!
23 February 2014 @ 11:27 pm
I ... I can't imagine that this is exactly easy for you. You were keeping that a secret for good reasons, and that was an abrupt way for everything ... well, it was just in poor taste all around.
You're not the first priest in your situation. Though the Church points to them as cautionary tales, and will censure them at the very least ... I won't be one to condemn you. I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything in public because it's not really any of my business. But since Kail decided to make it all so plain ... I didn't want there to be any sour air between us. I'm going to be looking very sour in the next few days for another reason ... I just wanted you to know that your secret is safe with me. And if you're having any troubles, don't be afraid to come to Nessa or me with them. Nessa is probably your better bet actually, because she's actually good at advice ...
I'm rambling, I guess. I just wanted to say that.
23 February 2014 @ 08:09 pm
After all this, do you even care about what you did to Korvin and Irving? They were entitled to their privacy, Korvin especially. You have no idea how terrifying it is to have this affliction, especially here, in Northern Dentoria, where -- his family lives here, Kail, his mother is acquainted with Lady Francisca personally, if you think word of this isn't going to spread now that everyone in our group knows about it you're delusional.
You've taken that privacy from him, and I just can't believe you could be so ... cruel. You know how long I hid what I am -- or tried to -- and you know why, I told you everything. Everything! And you think it's perfectly okay to turn around and force another man to admit his preferences in front of everyone, you practically attack him for it in front of the whole group -- and for what?
Because you didn't like the thought of us being together?
I don't care what your reasoning is. I'm tired of you acting like this is still Franel and you're still Lord Roivas's untouchable younger son that doesn't have to account for any of his actions unless his father takes him to task on them, because it hasn't been that way for almost a decade, Kail, and you haven't grown up a bit. Not one single bit.
I wish I had taken the opportunity when I had it. Everyone thinks I'm standing around waiting for you to come to your senses, but I'm not. I never was. Korvin is a wonderful young man, he's attractive, he's sensible, he's talented, he has a wonderful sense of humor and enough charm to turn any sensible head, and I turned him down because I didn't think it would be fair to start something and then immediately have to end it, because we're going to Kilia and he's not. That's the only reason.
If it wasn't for how unfair it would be to Irving, maybe I would have taken this opportunity to tell him all of that. So if it bothers you so much, maybe you should go thank him. And apologize, because what you've done isn't something that can be forgiven easily.
Next time, if you care so much, try talking to me, first. And listen, for once in your life.
23 February 2014 @ 07:31 pm
All right, Korvin, I've about had enough of you avoiding me when we both know exactly what's happening here! I know what you've been doing and I know why you look so guilty all the time, too, and I'm through with tolerating it!
What are your intentions with Sawyer?!
23 February 2014 @ 09:28 pm
I think I've solidified my idea enough to present it without embarrassing myself terribly. It's . . . well, it's something. I think it might actually work. Though, it's still strange to think about what is going on at home at this very moment.
Are you in a good place to write without being seen?
23 February 2014 @ 07:27 pm
Caoilinn? Would you mind staying late, tomorrow? Actually, I may need you to stay late somewhat often in the coming weeks. -- If that's possible. You'll be paid, of course.